A Gift of Love from My Husband

My husband left me a present. No, not flowers. Not chocolates. Better.

I came home from work and noticed that he had left some closed tupperware containers in the sink. I decided to wash the dishes so I could make some dinner.

When I opened the tupperware, I was completely overtaken by frightening fumes. A horrible stench.

Something had died in these containers.

Upon further inspection, I noticed that the mashed potato residue inside one container was green. The other container appeared to have once held spaghetti but it was now filled with white. fuzzy. mold.

Shocked and horrified, I fled the kitchen and called my husband. “What was in these dishes?” “Where did they come from?” “How long have you had them??” “Why???”

He found them in a lunch box in his office. Who knows how long they had been there.

I was so traumatized that I forgot to make dinner.

And that is my justification for this:

Furby!

Hasbro has decided to re-release Furby. You know Furby, the hamster/owl robot electronic toy that spoke gibberish in the late 90’s.

“Kah ay-ay oo-nye” = Me see you! ;

Walmart

Furby is a good idea in concept. I remember how excited I was to receive a Furby. Then it started waking me up in the middle of the night with an ominous “Furby like you!”

I couldn’t turn Furby off. Couldn’t turn down the volume. Furby knew when I entered the room. Furby knew when I left. Furby was not a toy. Furby was watching me.

And. Now. Furby. Is. Back.

Image Credit: Hasbro

The toy that every kid in the 90’s wanted and later regretted. It is back in all its talking, watching, eating, annoying glory.

From the Walmart website:

“With a mind of its own, your new Hasbro FURBY will develop its personality based on how you play with it. It will dance to your favorite songs. Put it in a room with a few of its friends and they’ll interact with each other in all sorts of hilarious ways while speaking either English or the special FURBY language, FURBISH.”

Oh no.

The Purple 2012 Furby is kind of cute. But there’s no “OFF” switch.

Why is there no “OFF” switch.

Did You Need Something?

If you want me to do something for you, only ask me once.

Do not call me, leave a voicemail, email me, and text me.  Do not send me an IM letting me know that you’re about to send me an email.  Don’t send me a text message asking if I listened to your voicemail.

Speaking of voicemail, don’t leave me a voicemail with the message “Hey, give me a call when you get a chance.”  I’m not going to call you back.  If I wanted to talk to you, I would have answered the phone when you called me.

Don’t call me several times over the course of a day and not leave me a message.  Clearly, I am screening your calls to determine whether or not taking your call will be a waste of my time.  State your purpose, and be brief with it.

It’s a surprisingly little known fact about Leos that the more you want us to do something, the less inclined we are to acquiesce to your request.

Yes, I am a Leo.