You Lied

I looked up to you, but you lied to me.

Jesus is King

At this time, In this time.

We need a voice.

A bold voice, fearless and secure.

In the One.

Jesus works miracles.

An album that speaks to your heart is hard to find.

How many artists have a purpose? A real message?

Kanye prayed for me.

And I am free.

Free from the fear of man.

Jesus is Lord.

Jesus is King.

Hands Free Whopper Holder

Burger King came up with the perfect way to enjoy a Whopper with minimal effort.

Apparently, Burger King gave fifty of its loyalty program members in Puerto Rico hands free Whopper holders that can be worn around the neck so their hands can be used for other tasks.

I don’t know if this story is true or just a rumor, but the fact is, I need one. Now.

Watch the commercial:

Paul Ryan Gets Pumped, Bro

TIME recently released photographs of Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan demonstrating his fitness regime when he was nominated for 2011 Person of the Year.

I can’t get over how ridiculous these pictures are. The first thing I thought when I saw these photos was ‘Dude, Paul Ryan is totally a Bro.’

So I was delighted to discover that extensive research has already been conducted to determine Paul Ryan’s bro status.

In August, Gawker conducted an in-depth evaluation to answer the question, “Who is the biggest Bro in the presidential race?”

The author evaluated Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan based on sports, fashion/grooming, education, beer drinking and “Expert” Opinions.

Paul Ryan sitting on a bench, cautioning the viewer. Dumbbells rest on the floor. — “Hey – That’s too much weight, bro.”

If the winner isn’t obvious to you, I won’t ruin the surprise by revealing the results here.

Also in August, Mother Jones declared Paul Ryan the Frattiest Veep Candidate Ever.

And one more thing, you should watch this video of David Letterman making fun of Paul Ryan’s workout photos on the Late Show:

Paul Ryan: All Pumped Up for His Closeup (lightbox.time.com)

Furby!

Hasbro has decided to re-release Furby. You know Furby, the hamster/owl robot electronic toy that spoke gibberish in the late 90’s.

Furby is a good idea in concept. I remember how excited I was to receive a Furby. Then it started waking me up in the middle of the night with an ominous “Furby like you!”

I couldn’t turn Furby off. Couldn’t turn down the volume. Furby knew when I entered the room. Furby knew when I left. Furby was not a toy. Furby was watching me.

And. Now. Furby. Is. Back.