I’m Not Dead

Wow, those two weeks went by quickly!  I haven’t had time to do much of anything lately.  Between working full-time and yelling at my husband, who has time to write?

I’m kidding.  The real reason that I haven’t posted anything is because it’s hard to write a coherent blog post when you’re drunk.  I decided to stay sober today in an effort to reassure the Internet that Raezyn has not disappeared.  Is anyone actually tracking these things? You can call off the search party.

I haven’t even had time to read other people’s blogs.  There are a few funny writers that I have completely fallen out of touch with.  It is a shame.  Not only am I isolated in real life, I am isolated on the World Wide Web.  But today, I have returned to entertain you, Internet.  Hopefully my friends will call me back so I can go out and do something fun afterwards.  I’m kidding again.  I don’t have friends.

This morning I woke up to a half-full glass of Merlot and an open box of Milk Duds.  Leftovers from my wild and crazy Friday night.  So I had Milk Duds and wine for breakfast.  Given that I was still kind of drunk from staying up drinking until 3 AM, those last sips of wine were all the alcohol I needed to pass out and sleep some more.  I’m not an alcoholic.

I woke up at 2:30 PM with a sugar high.  Go figure.  After scolding my husband for exhibiting man-like behavior, I remembered that I had abandoned my glorious blog.  So, I made myself some coffee and powered up the ol’ laptop.  After surfing the Internet for a couple of hours, I started writing.  I hope this post is satisfactory, because it’s all you’re going to get today, Internet.

I’ve got to start getting ready to hit the bumpin’ comedy scene in D.C.  I don’t have time to edit this post and add pictures and what not.  Do I seem moody?  I feel moody.  I’m a little moody today.  I’m not sure why.

Hmm.